New Years Resolutions (In the words of Father Jack: ‘Arse!’)

January 6th, 2010 · Personal

There’s nothing I love more than making it through the trauma of Christmas Day only to find that I’ve got to suck it up and put a smile on my face for the New Year celebrations too; which I rather blame Jesus for because life might be a bit more varying if he had been born in July.

Frankly, Christmas passed me by in a flood of freezing temperatures, some dodgy driving and frenzied, last minute shopping. I sighed dramatically in relief when it was all over and headed off to Cornwall for a few days, barely removing myself from my hotel room in a half-hearted stand against tacky decorations and prickly trees.

Sadly, on return I realised I had but one day to a) squeeze into a five year old dress that required a corset to change my body shape and b) think up some New Year resolutions.

Rather imaginatively I came up with:

- Losing two stone, growing my hair and magically turning into something that Jack Nicholson might leer at.

- Increasing my knowledge, becoming a braniac so that I might eventually take over the world one laptop at a time.

Quite shockingly I’ve actually gone to the gym in 2010 already, and I’ve started a course to brush up on my programming skills for the web. So be prepared for a site that looks less like a pile of crap, and more like the sun shining from a Goddess’ bottom… You might have to wait rather longer for pictures of me in Heat magazine ‘working’ as a WAG though.

Picture of the day? My current residence, a shepherds hut in the garden. Not even my parents can stand having me around… Which brings me to resolution number three: getting my own home!


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A very smug Christmas indeed…

December 13th, 2009 · Personal

I’m glad to report that sometimes the grass really can be greener. Admittedly it’s hidden under some leaves right now, but yes, it’s definitely twinkling away under all that frost.

I’ve been rather remiss with blogging of late, and whilst I’d like to blame the recent upheaval and new job, it’s honestly because I’m living in a house with three [...] Continue Reading…


Times have changed

October 11th, 2009 · Personal

It might well have gone unnoticed that I haven’t added a blogpost for over a month. However, I do have good reason. After recently grumbling and mumbling about wanting a change, I took a massive great leap into the unknown, got a job as a web and graphic designer with an olive company in Dorset, and am ditching London [...] Continue Reading…

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Having youth and health on your side…

August 28th, 2009 · Personal

I am shattered, eating badly, getting fat and lacking sleep. However, after 2  and a half years of going to doctors, hospitals and having numerous operations, I finally got a clean bill of health from my Doctor today. Thanks Dr. M. (Of course, there is no thanks to Dr. S who is a bit of an A-hole), you fixed [...] Continue Reading…


Sleep Deprived

August 16th, 2009 · Personal

I just can’t seem to get enough sleep. I find something inane to occupy myself with until 2am, then so immensely regret my decision at 7.30 the next morning that I promise myself I’ll be in bed the next night at 9, only to find myself out drinking until 1am. Then the people upstairs move out ridiculously early in [...] Continue Reading…


God’s Laughter and Shoes, Glorious Shoes…

August 8th, 2009 · Personal

On a day like today, I can only believe that God must be sitting on a cloud laughing at me. That can be the only reason that you are put through such trials… Nothing to untoward has affected my day. Just continuous reminders that I am a mere mortal, and a pretty piss poor excuse for one at that.

The [...] Continue Reading…

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